Oolaf
Oolaf comes from a family of goose farmers. When he was 5 he could outrun Bethany Goose, the fastest goose in the west. When he was 12 he won the 1997 Goose and Philosophy competition. When he was 22 he became the premiere goose pediatrician in 14 counties and Puerto Rico. But that was a very long time ago... Let us fast forward to 2008. A young doctor newly married and in the height of his business success, disappears completely. This chapter is appropriately called "The Last Great Mystery of The Goose Doctor."
It was in December of 2009 that P Sugs and Samosa Jones stumbled into the Humbolt county bird museum in D’anus Texas. It was there, behind an isle of organic bird toys, they found a man passed out drunk with a bird tie and gold shoes. Worried they checked the man’s pulse, still alive. They managed to get him up and walked him outside. Samosa was about to dial the police when the man said this "I’m ff ff ffucking tired of thhese birds maaan. I should be birp sssinging. I’m a ffuckin sttar babby er push biebers into aa llake." The rest was history.
Three days later Capyac signed Oolaf to a $200,000 deal with Zaza Records and flew him out to their Los Angeles studio for a session with the Cool Company.